More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.So, now, you’re single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, “What happened to all the nice guys? You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion.They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you.
All of the Nice Guy Points he’s accumulated drain away along with the fantasy that he might wear her down to the point that she would give in and he’s forced to acknowledge the ugly truth that it’s just never going to happen.
At this point, the Nice Guy has two options: continue to hang around that he never stands a chance or to run away.
He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry.
He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had.
So, if you’re looking for a nice guy, here’s what you do: 1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
He’s engaging in what is, for all intents and purposes, a transactional relationship or a particularly grind-y MMO quest line.
In his mind, by acting like her friend – doing her favors, spending time with her, giving her emotional support at times when her boyfriend is acting like a raging asshole – he’s collecting as many pork-asses as he possibly can until the end of the quest when she breaks up with her boyfriend and he can trade all of those hard-earned pork-asses in for a relationship… The “Nice Guy” has usually bought into the lies that he’s peddling: that he’s really being a good friend to her, that he respects her in ways her asshole boyfriends don’t, that his love for her is a purer, more deserving love than anyone else she might know.
Small wonder most Nice Guys choose to run away and complain about it on their social networks instead.