If you are even giving any consideration to a divorce, you lessen your ability to solve the problem." Of course, Boggs says, the marriage masters acknowledged that some situations are deal breakers, such as addiction, adultery, or abuse.
But when the problem is less severe, many of the marriage masters told him they create a "ledger of life." They get out a piece of paper and write down everything they love about their spouse.
Putting them into practice takes effort, of course.
That way, your stress will be down and your tolerance will be up.
You'll be less likely to get on each other's nerves -- and to squabble. While some married couples consider activities such as workplace friendships with members of the opposite sex acceptable, some relationship experts disagree.
But of the striking results the authors observed they, Consumption of decaffeinated coffee was not linked to reduced levels of depression.
High doseThe authors noted there had only been other cohort studies with similar aims: one in Finland where among 2232 men 49 cases of depression were identified after a 17.5-year follow-up. Two US studies had shown lower suicide rates to be associated with high coffee consumption but only up to a certain point.
"Don't use the D word" was one oft-repeated suggestion for keeping a happy marriage, Boggs says.
These marriage masters told him, "You need all your energy to find the solution to a problem and work it out.
Authors: Michel Lucas, Ph D, RD; Fariba Mirzaei, MD, MPH, Sc D; An Pan, Ph D; Olivia I.
Thousands of couples will walk down the aisle this Saturday, 7-7-07, hoping all those 7s -- the number long associated with luck -- will keep them lucky in love.
It raises a whole level of anxiety [in the person hearing it]." Divorce is also considered a dirty word by the more than 200 "marriage masters" interviewed for the book, Project Everlasting.
Co-authors Mat Boggs and Jason Miller, bachelors and childhood buddies from Portland, Ore., traveled the country to interview the couples, married 40 or more years, and ask for their best marriage tips.
"Just don't go there," suggests Steve Brody, Ph D, a psychologist in Cambria, Calif., who counsels couples.