When I asked other friends about this behavior, they reported similar experiences: Men want handles, not digits.
My grid contains unedited selfies, blurry snapshots taken from poor angles, closely cropped photos of objects presented without context and screenshots of articles I’ve read.
My Instagram story often features out-of-focus footage of my night out or videos of my friends and I goofing off in unflattering ways.
Selfie-faving aside, if there’s a hierarchy to digital relationships, Instagram ranks at the bottom, because it’s the easiest, least reciprocal form of communication.
“The IG is just for intro,” says Ibrahim, a 23-year-old from California. And finally, a number.”Mariam, a high school teacher in California, says she observes these rituals play out among her students every day: “Most of the youths start their relationships on Insta these days before moving to i Message.”In 2015, Tinder started allowing users to include their Instagram photos to their Tinder profile — a feature that implies Instagram functions as a better way to get to know someone than their Tinder profile.
The app allows them to stay in contact without the necessity of answering text messages; it keeps them up-to-date on what their exes and maybe exes look like without the necessity of inviting them out IRL; and the photo-based layout instantly telegraphs taste, social capital, hobbies and interests without the necessity of actual conversation.
I was no anomaly for Nesi — he approaches all girls with this same question.When Nesi first approached me at a party a few weeks ago, I already knew how our interaction would proceed.A few demographic markers made it obvious: He was young (25, I learned later); he was dressed in casual streetwear and wearing the kind of glasses that identified him as a member of the creative class (you know the ones); and he had a boyish confidence (which I found endearing).Simply put: It’s not always the kind of content I want to present to a potential partner. Instagram, he tells me now, is part of his vetting process.So when Nesi asked me for my handle, I politely declined and offered my number instead. It’s how he determines compatibility (and feasibility) before initiating a first date. With Instagram, we can be friends and I can see where you’re at, rather than just blindly aim and shoot.”There’s also, he says, low emotional risk when it comes to Instagram.Inside, you'll find tips, secrets, techniques, principles, and advice that will become your arsenal in the harrowing world of today's single man.