How else can our families see their grandchildren/niece/nephews grow up? While others are investing their extra dollars in college or retirement accounts, we are saving up for our next airline tickets to Germany!
Not to be nosy but I suspect you were married to an Arab guy. My virgin 20 year old sister married one & he beat her & put her in the hospital! I also taught my son about Japanese history so when someone calls him mixed he will explain what he is mixed with including the different races that The Japanese people of today are mixed with lol ! My son had a good job and married to a wonderful American girl. On another hand, because we live in the U S my son is toltaly one down side, I don’t have a chance to see my family in Thailand more often. International Marriage is a tough one, and I agree with most of your list. Loneliness is the most difficult element in the relationship.
I didn’t even know about it because I had moved to another State 500 miles away! It opens your mind well at least mine to being open minded and not carrying about what the world thinks of us :). We have the most wonderful time when we do visit our family . I think European marriage is slightly easier and less costly to visit your family at least! I’m also very lucky that by coincidence we now/currently live in the same region of France as my parents (who moved here before us) and my husbands parents. Luckily we live right across the street from my mother (we can wave to each other from our own houses!! I am quite an independent person and can find my way quite easily – I built a life on my own – but no matter how much I invest, a part of me will never be accepted, not even in my own home.
Our choice to invest it in the present to visit family in Germany is important to us but it does hurt at times.
Our children’s grandmother won’t be alive forever so we do what we can to visit her as often as we can.
I’m planning to return to the States soon & apply for a fiance or K-1 visa. We don’t look at dogs and say ewww it’s from Germany ! And as my book reads a flower in the city which is about this very same topic . Marriage is for the devoted and strong and the ones who found that special someone to share life with and love no matter the circumstances ! We are still young and we all go to bed saying I love you and I tell my kids the reason why some people are bullies is because they aren’t happy at home ! I too asked God to send someone but he was not from America. Reply Your viewpoint on the international marriages is profoundness.
I happen to have an immigration attorney friend whose been warning me of the high failure rate between Dominican & American marriages. Your kids will be more understanding to others and less racist ! With animals we think owww how cute but with humans we can’t even look each other in the eye if our color/looks are different ! If they were they wouldn’t care about what others are doing specially if they are happy . Don’t worry so much about who you marry but why you are marrying ! I totally trust God’s decision on who He found for me. Yes with the love and respect between both of you is more important. The Asian cultures have more disciplined on the children of learning and to become sussessful. We had a lot deferent appinions but the end of the day we try to take what ever it is right and common sense. International marriage certainly is difficult, as is marriage in general, but it becomes especially difficult when your partner’s theory of integration means “think, eat, breath like you’re one them”. I have learned many things from him, and there are so many things I like/prefer about living here, but I suspect that I have never been able to teach my partner anything; that perhaps there is another way of dealing then the manner derived from his cultural background.Aside from getting used to living with one another, we had overarching cultural differences to deal with which could really wear us down and test our marriage. Even though my husband feels very comfortable here in the States, he still doesn’t feel 100 percent at home.Even today we hit cultural nuances that test our boundaries. Not only do others treat him as a foreigner, no matter how hard he tries, this country will just never hold the same degree of comfort as his country of origin. Ever since my husband and I have been together vacations have taken on a whole new meaning: Visiting family.There will never be a time when we are close to his family as well as mine. Things just feel a little less warm and comforting when our holiday traditions disappear. However, there are times when our cultural differences rub one another the wrong way. My husband is completely fluent in English yet he can still feel out of place when he hangs out with a bunch of Americans using slang and subtle cultural references. My husband had to listen to my complaints (for a long time) about how different life was in Germany.The cultural idiosyncrasies of my husband that I love the most can also cause me the most frustration when I’m not at my best (and mine can do the same to him! I can’t even imagine what it is like for couples who don’t speak each other’s languages! Then I had to listen to the same from him when we moved to the States.Tough, but better than being stuck in another country in a bad relationship…