There is no house maintenance to carry out and no children to take to school! When they date a single woman, do the deed with her, men are usually pressured into taking the relationship into a whole new level that is coupled with commitment. The conversation will flow very nicely and the woman will match your compliments and be very outgoing towards you, this is because of the time factor. Younger single men know about how some older women like to fashion themselves as “cougars”. The younger man is unlikely to be with you when you’re turning 65.
So the married woman/single man coupling is the more rare circumstance. Why do some single men have affairs with married women? Unlike most women, single men often love having access to someone who is passionate, sexual and really wants nothing more from them. The goal of dating for married people is far different from dating among the singles. This is the most apparent reason why they willingly throw themselves out there.
On a purely physical level, most men are going to enjoy their affairs with married women. You’re unlocking a woman full of sexual desire who is not getting her needs met at home, so of course the one night (or many nights) of sex is going to be unbelievably great. You don’t need to meet the parents and you won’t miss a single bowling night out with your buddies. But for married people who are already committed, they are just out to seek solutions to their unmet emotional and/or sexual needs.
For other women, the affair thing also may be the symptom of a mid-life crisis — that they fear their attractiveness slipping away, and what better way to feel good about yourself than to get another man interested in you, especially a younger and single one?
What could be more self-affirming (even it’s kind of a delusion, just as it is for married male cheaters)?
From my perspective, this is a more rare circumstance than the single woman with the married man. I have yet to get an email from a single man who is involved with a married woman asking me for help, pining out the problems in his affair, or just to vent. But I get emails from women all the time who are involved with married men, concerning their issues, frustrations and questions.
Plus, I think there are not that many married women who are seeking a mostly sexual affair with a single man (which is what most of them turn out to be). The married woman who has an affair usually does it because she’s fallen for someone else, single or otherwise.
Not only that, what if you are actually acquaintances with her husband?
What if her husband is actually a guy you work out with at the gym or a guy you do business with?
Would it not be more sensible for both consenting people to be married?