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My mother married my father because, she told me in a rare moment of candor, she wanted to have sex with him.She was 25 and tired of pre-sex fumbling and stolen kisses.Other friends have held up pinkies to illustrate their displeasure with a dude’s size.” Ah, the ol’ pinkie move!

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But beyond all that, here was a woman talking about a penis in public like I’ve only heard women talk in private.

That wasn’t the only time that happened in the show’s finale.

My friend “Susan” says she started her sex life fooling around with guys who all had what she described as “very standard-issue schlongs.” Then in college, she started sleeping with men of all different sizes and shapes.

”It was neat, actually — a lesson in the depth of human variety,” she said.

Following an overnight date during which her beau Robert wore his jeans to bed, contestant Sarah told the camera, “I don’t even know if he has a penis.” In that two-hour-long season finale, we saw the polar extremes of how women talk about a man’s dick — in praise of his virility and masculinity, and as a form of total and complete emasculation.

It also happens that this week Jared Leto inspired a bunch of penis-fawning by grabbing his junk during a performance, which Lauren Yapalater broke down on Buzz Feed via several stills and commentary such as, “WHOSITSWHATITSBALLOOGAAAHELGSKHGLSNDGMSD?????!!!The idea that a woman is ‘a good piece of ass’ or ‘a nice rack’ is pretty diminishing, but somehow, when I turn on reality TV, it seems to be crammed with women who want to ogle a guy’s six pack and talk about his junk.” And now I feel ashamed for cheering them on.Another friend, the phenomenal sex writer Anna Pulley, is bisexual and in a committed relationship with a woman.“Like, sometimes I get the impression that guys with that big a body have a small dick,” she said, her mouth blurred on the final word, on top of an obscuring bleep. Maybe his dick is very muscular, like the rest of his body.Like the hulk.”I must admit, when she said this, I pumped my fists in the air.I know I’m old-fashioned, but I do think that good sex is less about genitalia and more about the way you feel when you’re together — your ability to let go, to surrender, to connect.

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