This man has little experience with women, other than his late wife.Dating may be the last thing he ever expected to be doing again.
It is reminiscent of a kid who is trying to like broccoli.
If this advice sounds negative, it is only meant to provide women with a jolt of realism, and to provide widowers with an eye-opener.
Some widowers get married very quickly after their loss. Then there are those who wait, and wait, and wait some more, unable to commit. Realistically, it takes special effort by both parties to develop a bond after a spouse has died. She must get some answers and then make an intelligent decision to wait or leave.
Some men get used to being alone, even though they say they don’t want to be by themselves. It’s not like buying a car and knowing you can trade it in a year or 2 later if it isn’t what you want; this one is for life.
They might be used to a wife who did all the domestic things for them, such as the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, or even fixing a running toilet.
So you see a widower online, and you are thinking, “What a great catch this man is! ” Not having done your homework and investigated the challenges, you are encouraged.
Perhaps he invites you to his house, but everywhere you go, even the bathroom, reeks of her. He may keep you hidden from them at first, not knowing how they will react to their father with another woman. Such a man may tell you that he is working through his grieving process and that he is trying to learn to love someone again.
You try not to get your feelings hurt; but alas, it is impossible to believe that he wants anything to do with you, when her presence is everywhere. Or, he might introduce you, but they may not want to meet you, or get to know anything about you. “Trying” to love you is not a phrase you want to hear.
Patience is therefore of the essence in the early days of dating, as both you and your new partner will be trying to weigh up if this is a road you are ready to go down."The widow or widower is either ready to move on or they're not.
You're not asking them to forget their memories, you're simply asking whether they are ready to start a new relationship and take the next step in their life.
For someone who has been recently widowed, there's a good chance that all three of the above scenarios are true.