Acceptance may take determination, but is worth the effort.
Acceptance has allowed me the freedom to be who I truly am: A strong woman blessed with many people, including four other adult children, to love and share my life with.
There are plenty of these virtual worlds for people to choose from, all that matters is to know which one offers the activities and cultures that best suit your personality.
When an adult child abandons parents, or in some cases the entire family, the what-ifs and how-coulds can limit recovery. But staring at the silent telephone, desperately waiting for the uncertain return of your adult child can lead to despair.
And you may be right to hold back with people at work, or certain friends you feel won’t understand or will judge you. Some find an online group designed as support for parents of estranged adult children useful. Acknowledging your feelings, whether in a journal or by sharing with others you trust can be healthy, but not to excess or in a negative way. Do you catch yourself saying aloud or thinking, “I’ll never get over this..” Are you continually asking questions, such as, “Why do these sorts of things always happen to me? This suggestion may sound trite, but if negative thoughts can produce more negative thoughts, positive thoughts can be as fruitful. As reported in the Harvard Health Newsletter, researchers at Hope College in Michigan found that changing one’s thoughts about a stressful situation, perhaps by considering the parts you handled well or imagining offering forgiveness, changes the body’s responses.
It’s helpful to reach out to a trusted, empathetic friend or two, but whether you can or can’t confide in others, don’t deny your feelings exist. Some common feelings of rejected parents include: *Guilt: I must not have raised my child right. *Helplessness: How can he/she refuse to take my call? ” Called “ruminating,” this sort of negative thinking spurs more negative thought, perhaps even calling to mind the other things that “always happen.” Clinical studies have linked ruminating to high blood pressure and to unhealthy behaviors such as binge drinking and overeating, so steer clear. Turn your statements and questions around with positive thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about your adult child or the situation, notice your physical body as well. In short, the way we think about things can reduce our physical stress response Take a few deep breaths, loosen up or even get up and move around. Do something to aid your physical body and health as well as positively altering your thoughts.
More often than not, the best way to truly find something new is to travel past your day to day borders.
Online, there are literally thousands of communities that you can join and become a part of.
Most of us have had to accept other disappointing realities during our lives: a loved one’s death, the inability to finish college due to other responsibilities, or an unrealized professional goal.
We all have disappointments, but the vast majority of us accept reality and move forward, perhaps in more fulfilling directions.
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