In addition, marriage is the traditional outlet for sexuality, and only 26% of Millennials aged 18–32 were married as of 2014, compared to 36% of Gen X’ers (born 1965–1979) in 1997 and 48% of Boomers.” So the odds that a young person is unmarried and living with his or her parents today is significantly higher than it was in the past, and that on its own reduces the odds that they will have had sex since turning So there’s a lot going on.
“People are marrying, having children, and settling into careers later.
For Gen X, that didn’t change when they started having sex.
Twenge and her colleagues present a few different partial theories.
One has to do with the fact that, as Sherman put it in an email to me, “A lot of Millennials and all of IGen [those born 1995–2012, per the researchers’ definition] got sex after -positive.
I’ll say it again: Busy or not busy, when sex is gone from an intimate relationship, it’s a problem you’re either experiencing— or it’s one in the making.
Of course, there are real and important reasons why couples stop having sex, often temporarily: after the birth of a baby, while caring for aging or sick parents, acute job stress, or a diagnosis or treatment for cancer or another condition—anything that throws you off your rhythm. But when it continues to just not happen, and you find yourself looking for excuses to rationalize it rather than make a change, then it’s an issue you must face or risk damaging your marriage.
Then take the pressure off by telling your mate that you want to initiate some physical contact again and thought you could do fill-in-the-blank tonight. She is the author of "The Sex Drive Solution for Women." Learn more about her programs at
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First I run a full panel of hormone tests, and many times I do find that they’re suffering from an imbalance that would cause low sex drive— but even once we fix that, some of them still don’t feel desire for their mates.