I thought I’d dealt with most of my body image issues before I started dating my current boyfriend. My boyfriend weighs over 300 pounds, and one of the things I appreciated right away is that he didn’t hesitate to call himself “fat.” Why would he? That alone was startling to me, having dated my share of men and women who were far from accepting of their bodies.
I didn’t know it was possible to differentiate those two, since I’d always experienced comments about any weight gain as a negative.
We live in such a looks-focused world that those became intertwined in my head, and that’s a dangerous outlook because it leads to me wanting to stay in bed all day when I feel “ugly” or “heavy.” He’s able to navigate that fine line of helping without butting in because he knows my body issues are more complicated than his.
I can get so hung up on a clothing size that I’ll buy a less flattering but lower number to make myself feel better.
I’ve even shied away from attending events when I felt I was simply “too fat” to fit into any of my clothes.
Dating my boyfriend hasn’t magically made me okay with my weight’s fluctuations, but what his presence has done it make me feel beautiful in his eyes no matter what, and look at why I might be gaining weight. When I get bad news, I want to soothe myself with salt.
In his case, I believe it’s genetic; he’s been heavy since a very young age, and didn’t slim down even when playing football twice a day. That’s something you can’t hide when you live with someone, nor would I want to.Contrary to what you might expect, he doesn’t reward himself or commiserate with food, and doesn’t want me to either.He’s helped me nip my wallowing in the bud, offering positive suggestions like walking, yoga, and meditation.So we experiment; I’ll bring him recipes, he’ll cook them and be open to tasting them, If I felt like he didn’t care about his health, that would be a red flag.But he does; he just isn’t trying to alter his body to meet society’s standards.I don't know why, but I finally felt like sharing it.