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Wednesday, December 20, 2017 May you and yours cuddle by the fire and enjoy a hearty cup of Egg Noggin, or whatever it is the Christians are drinking these days. But I am not here to rant about the current angry, white Christo-douchepocalpyse that has taken hold in our country. No, not even the unholy Star Wars alien teat milk that is Crissmas Angel. We tried to warn the world of the dangers the Oompa Prompas represented. By not giving a canary fling, he flings his canary. An inversion of a mystery wrapped in a riddle, surrounded by Enigma, all not changing the delightful life force that is Kelly-Lynn after Pilates class. Saturday, June 10, 2017 Well hello there, ye fellow ‘bag hunters, hott enthusiasts, and lovers of the mock! I am honored, humbled, and filled with the tingliest of shmeg tickle to see that this ole’ web relic of the late aughts and early 10s still gets a little foot traffic in the age of internet Borg control and hive mind Chris Hardwick faux nerd blankness. Certainly not as we enter the political douchepocalypse that has enveloped. Thursday, March 16, 2017 You might presume that a faux tanned Ed Hardy disciple inappropriately cuddle-macking Svetlana is uberdouche precisely because of douche face. Even devoid of doucheface, Charles Von Cankersore retains a high degree of smelly poo. I expunge you with every ounce of my soul, my shmeg, and my spirit. And you are certainly not invited to my next birthday party.
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For this site would be a mere flicker in the darkness of the storm that soon must rage to restore a more balanced and equinimical world not only betwixt ‘bag and hott but human and fellow human. I am here to wish you a Happy Holidays, a Happy Hannukah, a Merry Christmas, and a Scientology Xenu Day. The Ghosts of Douchemas Past may haunt us yet, but tomorrow is another day. Megods, me-pantaloons, this buffonic douchetool chews scenery worse than Richard Crenna in First Blood. If, at any point, you found the hottie/douchey mock to entertain, enlighten, enrage, or another adjective that begins with “e,” I am grateful. Kinda hard to find joy in the assinine foibles and bad taste of youth dating when the world is toking a shmeg pipe filled with rat poop and pumpkin seed. Thus proving my theorem that even in the age of Trumpocalypse, douche aura permeates beyond the performative signifiers. Monday, January 16, 2017 What a flaming Slouvakian dumpster fire. Let you be forever damned as the rank choadscrote that you chose to become due to your own misguided volition.
Do not dispair, fellow hotts, ‘bag hunters, and those that traverse the socially constructed gender binaries therein. But your humbs narrator is still kicking his ubiquitous red cup o’ Night Train, munching on tasty Hostess products whenever possible, raising two little HCs, and staring at the world cockeyed and bemused, or maybe more bleary eyed and vaguely nauseous. I don’t just mean this pic of Zach and his Bro, K-Whizz greasing up on Marissa as if her derriere is hosting a bake sale featuring a trenbolone sandwich. Yes, even douchier than these spectacular meatwads.
Thousands of people are getting Lovestruck I saw the Lovestruck ad on the tube and decided to give online dating a go.
Our first date was at Liverpool Street after work on a Friday night.
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