But the mixed signals from readers made me think twice.When one commenter accused a diarist of “mooching off her boyfriend,” another told her to “absolutely never feel guilty about letting the bf pay, when he makes 3X your salary!When we dine out, he pays; when we cook at home, I pick up the groceries.
Dating who pays for dinner
This isn't just a female thing either; there are men who agree with this sentiment — and oftentimes not just on the first date.
“My boyfriend won't even let me reach for the check. “On his birthday, he told me it was degrading to him for me to pay and has paid for everything ever since.” She was not the only one who cited her boyfriend as the lead decision maker on the issue (although only 6% of women think it is emasculating for women to pay for men).
Still, there is a consequence to this first-date expectation.
For all the talk of romance and caring, paying for a meal is still a transactional situation — and treating someone can infer an expectation of something else.
“You aren't saving money by mooching off your man at every chance.”The criticism of these women surprised me, because I’ve always thought that in long-term relationships, there's a little give and take when it comes to money.
My boyfriend and I developed a system that allows us to contribute proportionally, since he makes more than I do.
People were even emailing us to request diarists who It was an interesting development.
While there are endless conversations about gender equality and sexism in the workplace, and in the presidential election, the realm of dating seems murkier. When I started asking my friends about who pays for dates, they typically responded with another question: “Is this a first date?
Despite all the back and forth about whether this expectation is sexist, 48% of women surveyed said they would let their date pay for them if offered.