Here are ten things to never write in an online profile: 1. Insulting the method — or the people using the method — of finding love that you’re currently giving a try is a huge turn-off. Don’t lie about your height, age or weight: you’ll be found out soon enough. (Hint: No one’s profile says “seeking bitter pessimist.”) 6. If your profile is ten times longer than everyone else’s, it won’t be given much attention. They shouldn’t be able to identify your specific place of work, home address, last name or personal contact information from your profile. Don’t demand that your future partner love, worship, and adore you.
Users skim profiles looking for a reason to send a message or dismiss (hint: do not mention your mom or exes).
Call it the algorithm method: Working with data crunchers at the dating sites, we put together 25 tips for writing the perfect profile, selecting the right photo, and really understanding your audience.
We even scoured the top 400 most popular Ok Cupid profiles—the hottest people on the site in ten US cities—to see what their profile pics could tell the rest of us about attracting a date.
We couldn’t have done any of this without the help of the data maestros at Match and Ok Cupid: Christian Rudder, cofounder and president of Ok Cupid, and Jim Talbott, director of consumer insights at
Think of something interesting that could be a conversation starter.
‘People have to imagine how they’ll fit into your life, so describing yourself as a “bookworm and internet addict” makes them feel they’d never see you,’ explains match.com’s relationship expert Kate Taylor.
Maybe you’ve decided to finally give online dating a try, or maybe you’re just wondering why your matches aren’t responding to your profile. Don’t whine about your singleness status, about the bad first dates you’ve had lately or about the sad state of politics in your area.
There are a few profile-writing strategies to optimize the likelihood of interest from potential matches. Keep in mind the rules of first-date conversation and apply them to how you introduce yourself to strangers online, too. Keep your profile upbeat and focused on all the great things you have to offer and are looking for in a new relationship.
Props that make you feel soulful, frisky, and fascinating help you make those claims for yourself in your ad. It might sound obvious, but be sure to post a terrific photo of yourself. More to the point: I wanted to attract a man who appreciated subtlety.
If you're not comfortable putting your picture up online, avoid overselling your appearance with dubious claims like "Sharon Stone look-alike." I started my magazine personal with: "Curvy, almond-eyed writer, fit (good shoulders)...." My husband says he was attracted to the soft sell of the description and the quirky confidence of the assertion.
If you’re a gay man, pose outdoors—48 percent of the profile pics of the most popular gay men on Ok Cupid were snapped outside. ) Selfies are acceptable for women (45 percent of top-ranking straight women used them, as did 4 percent of lesbians), but not so much for men.