– tell Lorraine the truth about why he couldn’t pursue her right now. Yet Kristy views this through a prism of her own pain and mistrust.
She forgets that EVERYONE online is dating someone else. Would you rather be “right” like Kristy or would you rather “get what you want” like Lorraine?
Until then, it’s all speculation, hope, fantasy, desire, wishful thinking, and potential. What I’m writing about is what you make all of this dating stuff MEAN. remember the phone session we had last month where we were looking at one of the guys who had written to me on Match.
No, the problem is that you EXPECT anything different. I am NOT telling you to accept all their bad behavior. Well, 2 weeks or so after that conversation, he phoned me again, and told me that things didn’t work out with that other lady and asked me out. I rarely feel as comfortable on a first date as I did with him, like we really “clicked”. And she has a really great chance of going on a second date with a man about whom she’s quite excited.
As a result, you are continually derailed each time another guy fails to meet expectations. I am NOT suggesting that you’re wrong to want guys to act with integrity. And, finally, “I should just give up on dating.” A man could draw all those conclusions, but they would be patently false. I agreed to a date (although I did kind of feel like an alternate, or runner up to his first choice). I know it’s too soon to say, since I know all too well that a great first date so often means not all that much. Ask yourself if you’d react the exact same way that Lorraine did. He said it was my story about going to Dodger Stadium w/my Dad and seeing Sandy Koufax pitch a perfect game.
he’d be a saint, but instead he chose to be honest. Waiting to see the outcome of a handful of dates with one guy or girl while still letting your “backups” know your interested, is not “sloppy seconds”; it’s common courtesy, respectful and being authentic.
I think it shows a tremendous amount about his character that he’s focusing on one woman instead of trying to juggle 10…
I’ve told a couple prospects the honest truth of what my delay has been in scheduling a date, and they all take it in stride asking me to contact them if and when the guy I’m focusing on doesen’t work out.
Why is it that men take this stuff objectively but often women tend to get “offended” at the same information?
All I AM saying is that based on your own experience, a high percentage of men disappoint. After all, you ever have a good date with a guy but not feel strongly enough to see him again? THIS is what I see over and over and over again Your solution is not to change men. Your solution is to understand that rejection and failure happens to EVERYONE. Nonetheless, we went out for drinks and dinner tonight. So although we spent a long time getting to know one another and seemed to have mutual attraction, and rather powerful chemistry (ok, we kissed! But in this case, I would be REALLY surprised if we didn’t go out again. What I love about this email is how it illustrates Lorraine’s growth as a single woman in the dating world. Ask yourself if you’d be as positive, patient, forgiving and confident as she was. He’s not into sports at all, it was that he liked THE STORY.
Too short, too fat, too old, too nice, too boring, not enough money, too many other dating options? She didn’t get derailed when the guy disappeared the first time. If not – and if you’d like to approach dating like Lorraine, you can reach me here. Warmest wishes and much love, Evan His biggest crime, apparently, was that he met another woman first and was honest enough to – gasp! I have you to thank for that, I would never have thought about that had I not listened to your advice. Particularly timely given that dude that I had such a fun time with and am annoyingly so attracted to has yet to call again.
If you are thinking about when to have sex, keep in mind: Having sex can raise the intensity of emotions that people feel for each other — whether you’re in a serious or casual relationship.