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” Pay attention to this nervousness—it’s your gut trying to tell you that this man is not safe to be around, that if you ever experienced sexual harassment, assault, or violence, he would not believe or help you. Dye job: Is it ever acceptable to make a request about your partner’s appearance?He is telling you everything you need to know about his character. I would never comment on something like weight or unchangeable physical characteristics (nor would I want to—I think my wife is beautiful). My wife has recently stopped coloring her hair, so now she is all gray. Would I be a jerk if I asked her to go back to the dye job?

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That’s a pretty significant pattern, and there’s a pretty significant difference between an adult who’s been living independently for a few years and someone who was a senior in high school two years ago. How did they talk about the difference in their ages?

What did he think about the potential imbalance of personal power inherent in a 38-year-old dating a 20-year-old?

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Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers. (Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week. Most of the time, I can see myself marrying him and being happy, but some things he says politically make me nervous, and I’m worried that he’s too uncaring about other people’s situations.

He’s in the medical field and enjoys helping his patients.How can I tell if he’s just more conservative than me?Or if he’s just just defensive (I admittedly come on really strong when I question him)? : My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, and he is loving, caring, and dedicated.He doesn’t have a problem with Roy Moore being a senator because “he hasn’t been convicted.” He seems to judge sexual harassment victims for not coming forward earlier and doesn’t understand why some wouldn’t.I have zero issues with our relationship—it’s great.

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