“A partner is another human being, who has his or her own needs, wishes and priorities, and interacting with them can be a very, very complex process for which going through a list of characteristics isn’t useful.” The authors also found that the sheer number of candidates that some sites provide their love-seeking singles — which can range from dozens to hundreds — can actually undermine the process of finding a suitable mate.
That’s not necessarily a bad thing, as profiles can help quickly weed out the obviously inappropriate or incompatible partners (who hasn’t wished for such a skip button on those disastrous real-life blind dates?
), but it also means that some of the pleasure of dating, and building a relationship by learning to like a person, is also diluted.
It definitely wasn’t love at first sight, she said — that took a while.
In other words, according to my friend, Internet dating is just as unpredictable as the non-digital version.
Online, that process is telescoped and front-loaded, packaged into a neat little digital profile, usually with an equally artificial video attached.
That leaves a) less mystery and surprise when singles meet face to face.Offline, that kind of attraction would spark organically.The authors of the study note that people are notoriously fickle about what’s important to them about potential dates.They’re happily married, just moved into a new house, and are now talking about starting a family.When I asked her if she thought online matchmaking was a better way than offline dating to find guys who were more compatible with her — and, therefore, better husband material — she laughed.But there are certain properties of online dating that actually work against love-seekers, the researchers found, making it no more effective than traditional dating for finding a happy relationship.